Girl Drama

As a parent we try to protect our children as much as we can from things or even people that may hurt them. However, there are some times that our children just need to experience things to learn how to handle situations on their own. This can be very difficult as a parent. At times our children will overcome and be victorious and at other times they will fail. It is our job as parents to be there during these times to encourage and to be their biggest cheerleaders.
Hannah is 8 years old and is beginning to face some difficult situations with friends. My new term for this is "Girl Drama." Kevin tries to help but let's face it, he is not a girl and can't quite figure them out. Anyway, Hannah comes to me with these situations and let me tell you it is just tough! My hormones mixed with her problems...well, let's just say I'll probably be going gray earlier than I thought. I now know where my mother got her gray hair from.
Yesterday, Hannah found out that her best Zambian friends were going to a party and they asked her if she wanted to go to. This wasn't a birthday party but just a party that one of our young neighbors decided to do for all the little girls in our area. It was to be a dance party. Hannah was so excited! She got all dressed up with her blue dress and put her hair up too. She thought it would be like her dance class that she had gone to at a school in Lusaka where it is more fun dancing to music kind of like exercise. She was gone all afternoon and returned right before dark. These were her comments(along with tears) when she got home. "Mom, the party wasn't today it was just a practice day. All those girls have been practicing all week and the party is tomorrow. It was the kind of dancing like Zambians do where they shake their hips and they all laughed at me because I can't make my hips do like theirs do." I hugged her and tried to encourage her by telling her that they laugh at me too because I can't do it either but nothing I said helped. She proclaimed that she didn't want to go back and I said that was fine. Then she decided she would go back because she would be too embarrassed if she didn't go back.....(girl drama). Anyway, she got up this morning and was so excited about going and then she was at our neighbors house waiting for them to get ready and they started laughing(the mom included) and saying her name and she thought they were talking about her so once again she came running home in tears saying they were making fun of her and she wasn't going. Her friends finally convinced her that they were not laughing at her and that she had done well the day before and please would she go with them. She dried her tears and decided to go. Do I like other children or even parents laughing at my baby. No, I do not! Do I want to go bop them on the head? Yes, sometimes I sure do. But I won't, because even though Hannah's feelings were hurt she has to learn how to work through these things and hopefully she will grow to be a strong young woman one day that God will be pleased with. I am proud of her for facing what seems like a giant to her. Personally, I would have stayed at home if I were her. I say that, yet there have been many times that Zambian women have laughed at me. You just can't give up and let your feelings get hurt. We came here to be a witness to them and share Christ with them. If I gave up everytime someone laughed at me or called me fat(which is a compliment here) I would just sit in my house all the time. Sometimes we have to be a fool for Christ and if that means trying to dance like them when they want to teach us, eating things that look strange to us, walking with them long distances, helping them in their kitchens or homes(-they do things quite different) then that is what I have to do. I can't give up! Hopefully, Hannah will see that in me and she won't either. She is still there and will probably be gone all afternoon again. Pray that Hannah will grow into a Godly young woman and that He would use these times in her life to mold her and make her into His image. Also, pray that God would give me wisdom as these situations come up. I'm sure it can only get worse as she gets bigger.